Just Say "No"
I used to put everyone else's requests and needs first and
if there was any time left over at the end of the day for
what I needed and wanted to do, that was acceptable. That is
until I began to realize that if you and I are going to be
effective time managers, we have to stay away from
allocating our time solely on the basis of those who demand
it. Instead, if you and I are going to be effective time
managers, we have to allocate our time on the basis of those
who deserve it.
I don't mean this in any negative or arrogant way. It's just
you have limits to the amount of time you have to spend and
so one of the most powerful words in your Time Management
vocabulary is the word, "no". Almost everyone you encounter
will think they have a better idea about how you should be
spending your time. It doesn't make others bad. It's just
the way the world works. If there is a void in your Time
Management life, someone, or many for that matter, will jump
in to fill that spot. The problem is that they do not have
the full understanding of where you are taking your life and
if you keep saying "yes", they will continue to take up your
time, possibly keeping you from accomplishing what you
really want to do.
"No" is sometimes difficult to say because you have been
taught differently. You have been taught to say, "yes", to
please, to serve, and to accommodate. There is nothing wrong
with saying "yes" most of the time, but occasionally there
is a line you choose not to cross, when saying "yes" is
really not the best use of your time to get you to where you
need and want to be.
If you had unlimited amounts of time, you could "yes" all
the time to everyone. But you don't. You have 24 hours each
day, 7 days a week for a total of 168 hours. And you get to
spend that time only once, so you have to spend it wisely.
I have listed seventeen ways here to say "no". Don't let me
put the words in your mouth. Take the ones you like, change
them around and you use the words that are comfortable for
you. The point is, if you are ever in a position when you
can never say "no", then you are always saying "yes", and
like the song says, "If you don't stand for something, you
will fall for everything".
Try these:
"I'm sorry. That's not a priority for me right now."
"I can't help you on this now, but I can get to it next
week. Would that be okay?"
"I have so much on my plate now I don't know when I can get
to it. But I do know someone over here who can help you
now."
"Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things
so that you might be able to do it yourself."
"I have made so many commitments to others, it would be
unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this
point."
"If I can't give you a ride to the school dance on Friday,
how else would you get there safely?"
"I don't know how soon I can help you on this, but I will
get back to you as soon as I am free to help you."
"I'm sure we're close enough that when I say "no" you'll
understand it's for a good reason."
"Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both
agree and understand that the item I agreed to do for you
yesterday is going to have to wait."
"Before I take this over from you, what do you think we
ought to do about it?"
"I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, I sure
can do that for you. The bad news is, I'm so overloaded with
everything else, I've become delirious and have been lying
about my commitments."
"When I get overwhelmed like I am now, I remove every third
person who asks me for something, from my "Good Friends
List" and the second person just left."
"No."
"Thanks for thinking to ask me, but, no thanks."
"I would like to help you out on this but you understand I
don't have the resources available to do the right job for
you."
"Now that's the type of thing I would love to help you on if
only I had the time."
"Just like you, I get overloaded sometimes and have to tell
some very special people, "no". This is one of those times."
And as you speak, smile.
-Dr. Donald E. Wetmore
Copyright © 2001, Dr. Donald Wetmore, reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Donald E. Wetmore
Professional Speaker
Productivity Institute
Time Management Seminars
60 Huntington St., P.O. Box 2126
Shelton, CT 06484
(800) 969-3773
(203) 929-9902
fax: (203) 929-8151
email: ctsem@msn.com
Visit Our Time Management Supersite: http://www.balancetime.com
Professional Member-National Speakers Association
